Planted with Purpose

In times like these, it is incredibly difficult to find contentment. When plans change and things are suddenly very different then we expected them to be, we struggle to accept how things are. I have experienced a string of changes in my life in the past six months. Through these changes, I have strived to ask God to show me "why am I planted here at this time rather than where I was expecting to be?". 

 

One of the greatest changes that I have experienced was moving back home amide the rise of the Covid-19 pandemic. In early March I returned home to attend a Steven Curtis Chapman concert with my family for the weekend. At the time the virus was a concern but it was not yet a major issue. I was very vaguely aware of its presence but was not keeping enough of a tab on its growth to be aware of how it would affect me directly as I knew that could easily cause me to experience great anxiety. I returned to school expecting to make the trip back home two weeks later for spring break. In the days that followed the concern of the virus grew rapidly on campus and by Friday my college had declared that we would be sent home a week early for a two-week spring break. We were also informed candidly by professors that we would likely not return to traditional instruction following the extended break. Knowing what I knew I packed up the bulk of my clothing and brought back a larger amount of belongings than I would have had I only been returning for the two weeks expected. 

Our professors were correct to assume we would not return. After the first week of break, I received a string of emails informing me that not only would I not be allowed to return to in-person instruction but because I had gone home for the break I was required to come back and move out of my dorm room. That moving experience is definitely a story that I will tell another time as it is lengthy but quite a tale. I complied and retrieved my belongings and began the process of finding places to put my things in my family's new, much smaller, home. I consciously set aside things that I would need for the summer, frustrated that I was now back again living full time with my family while figuring out how to manage a new online learning environment. To be frank I was very frustrated with the world and was asking God what the heck was going on quite often. I was devastated that I had to leave my friends and the place that had become my home. I did understand why God had moved me home. While I loved my family I was conflicted. I would rather be with them in such uncertain times but at the same time I was giving up an adult life and independence to live the life of a high school student again which is very confusing. I experienced feelings of displacement, discomfort, anxiety, fear, and depression during this period of transition. 

Again I asked God constantly "why am I planted here at this time rather than where I was expecting to be?". I received an answer that I wasn't expecting when I suddenly got very sick. I will spare the details of my experience as it was a complex and scary situation. Long story short I was sick for nearly a full month. Not only was I incredibly ill but I was also expected two continue online education despite the circumstance. I truly could not have made it through the ordeal without the constant support and advocation of my incredible mother. After I had recovered I received the answer to my question from God. He had brought me home to protect me. He brought me home to spare my life. Had I been in my dorm room during quarantine when I got sick I am not confident that I would have been able to recover like I have. My mom drove me hours to the ER multiple times and fought for the doctors to actually do an exam rather than nearly swabbing me for a slew of illnesses and sending me home. It was a humbling experience. I was reminded that while I am an adult I will always need my mom. So why was I planted here at home rather than at school? I was planted here to save my life and for my own safety. What I learned through this experience is sometimes God will take us from where we are and where we feel comfortable for our own safety. And this is often not something that we will be able to understand at the moment because we don't have his omnipotent perspective. 

Another change that I have had to adapt to in the past six months was losing my summer plans. I was supposed to go on a mission trip to Denver Colorado for the whole summer. I was being sent to learn how to share the gospel and teach others in a workplace setting about the love of Christ and how you can find salvation and a personal relationship with him. I was so excited because I was on track to be able to work at a special needs day camp. I would not only have the opportunity to share the love of God with my fellow co-workers but also with the campers. I was thrilled feeling that I was about to take a huge step toward my calling. I was going to be able to spend a whole summer with individuals with special needs. I was also going to be making an income which was going to help me greatly going into the following school year. I was looking forward to spending the summer in a different city. Excited to get to share an apartment with a group of girls and being able to develop new relationships. And having the opportunity to grow in community with new people through our common love for Christ and calling to missions. I was also looking forward to working alongside people who share the same calling to work with individuals with special needs.  

As soon as I was sent home from college I knew that the chances of me still being able to go on my summer trip were slimmer but I held out hope. Then I received the call that my trip would have to be canceled. Even though I had prepared my heart for the possibility of cancellation I was still completely devastated that I was not able to spend the summer doing what I had planned. Then I faced having to figure out what I was supposed to do with my summer now that every plan that I had was no longer possible. Again I asked God the same question, "why am I planted here at this time rather than where I was expecting to be?". I looked at all my options applied to work and continued to pray over my summer. I prayed that the Lord would use me and provide me with service opportunities. 

I was hoping to get hired at the local Dollar Tree but unfortunately, that did not end up working out. I was so confused. I knew that I would benefit from a paying job. Again I asked God to use me and show me how he wanted me to spend my summer. I was expecting him to show me places where I could serve in the community or within the church but his answer came in a way that I wasn't expecting. Flash forward to Father's Day, while we were in our yard my mom broke her arm. Thankfully because I was completely free with no job or commitments of any kind I was able to take my mom to the doctor. She is now unable to drive or do most household chores among other things. While she has adapted and found ways to still do most things I have been able to step up and serve my family in a new and different capacity. And more importantly, I can directly serve my mom who has served me for so many years. Had all of my summer plans not been canceled I would not have been available to assist during this time and be present for my family. God answered my question by saying "I still want you to serve my kingdom and this world but instead of going to Denver this summer I want you to serve your family at home". I learned that God will remove opportunities because he has another mission, while maybe not what would traditionally be considered a mission field, for you to serve in. 

While this year has been difficult, to say the least, I am incredibly thankful to be able to rely on God for guidance on how to proceed during such an uncertain time. I have learned that we are not accidentally placed in our current location and through prayer, we can learn the purpose of where we are planted. God doesn't plant things by accident nor do they lack purpose. I challenge you rather than lamenting the seemingly uncomfortable changes in life, ask God to reveal to you the purpose of where you have been planted.